ChudaChan

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Juicy red by ChudaChan, literature

Literature

Juicy red

Sometimes I think of very weird things. Like how would it feel my flesh opening and getting juicy red from my blood. JUICY RED. Like a raw steak... Or a sweet sweet apple... At those moments I usually tend to space out and look at my whrists or my neck in the mirror. It makes me to desire. Desire myself. Dead. Like a raw meat. Bloody and dead. And then I start to think about all the possibilities... No more choices about studies and universities, no more tears to shed about being not good enough, no more pains in my chest because of him... He... That asshole... I hate him... I guess it's because I love him. Love has always worked this

Howl at the Moon by ChudaChan, literature

Literature

Howl at the Moon

I was walking my way back home. Listening to the music, Like always It was dark, and cloudy, No stars could be seen. I turned around the corner Of the house in front of my own Drowning in song, Where words don't make sense, Nor music. I looked at the sky, Light blue, Like in the morning When I was at school Imprisoned like a bird in cage Could it be that... Sun rises... In the night? I silently smile And think Sunrise in the night New day, New start New possibilities Everything new And then I see It's just the moon But as shiny as never before Skies around it seemed blue But moon it self Hidden in the mist My faithful prince My

Snow white by ChudaChan, literature

Literature

Snow white

I never got to know you Because you didn't let me to. You pushed me away I wasn't good enough Or... I wasn't bad enough... Who knows... I'm not the easygoing one with dyed hair and smokey cloud around shoulders like a coat I'm not the one, who colors her lips in red and empties another glass of beer Yes, I'm not a bad girl, But does it make me worse? I keep on thinking about things you said That I don't know you, That it's pointless to fall. Maybe you're right And there's no use For me To die this night Covered with white tears of clouds Because once I had those great white wings which angels have. But you cut them. And stole them. A

Stab me by ChudaChan, literature

Literature

Stab me

Agneta was always a silent girl. Not because she was scared or had no friends, but because she just didn't like people around her. She liked to remain in shadows. "Let the kids play, if they want to." that was her motto. Agneta put her history notebook back in her bag, while walking down the hallway. She was a newbie and this was her first day in this school. The class was OK. Of course there were some nerds and some "cool ones" but she didn't care. Right now her biggest problem was finding the exit from the school. Compared to the previous one, this had a quite big building. While wandering trough the hallways, suddenly she noticed some mo

Reasons for Living by ChudaChan, literature

The girl in a mist by ChudaChan, literature

Literature

The girl in a mist

There are many kinds of slaves in this world. For example I'm a slave of myself. Or my ambitions. I looked in the mirror. There was a tall, skinny girl, with black rings under her eyes, messy hair and tired look in her eyes. Here I am. Tired, scared and burned out. I lifted my trembling hands, and glided my fingers trough my hair. I don't have any talent at all, so I must work much harder than anyone else. That's why I want to be the best. At everything. If I fail, I'll punish myself. Simple and foolproof technique which has shown amazing results in my case. I know others who have parents, who are pushing them to do the stuff they don't

The Happy Family by ChudaChan, literature

Literature

The Happy Family

Father kicked me out from my bed with an angry shout. It's morning, and he wants to watch TV. I'm angry and sad, but I keep my mouth shut, and go to the kitchen. I make an omlette with cheese, and think, while eating it. Why can't he be nice to me? He could take a chair and sit there. Why my couch? He knows, that I love to sleep a bit longer when I have such an opportunity. I get up from the table and go to change from my pajamas. I don't have any plans for today, so I choose my black jeans, and red blouse with black stripes. I take some time until I find a pair of socks. "Come here" his voice has a cold tone. It's bad. It's damn bad. I g

Seconds and blood drops by ChudaChan, literature

Literature

Seconds and blood drops

With every second we become older and older. If we lose one second from our life, it’s nothing. We live on, it doesn’t matter to us. With every blood drop we become weaker and weaker. If we lose one drop, from those 6 liters, it’s nothing . We live on, it doesn’t matter to us. But when seconds turn into months and years and drops into liters, we start to think. What if… I was sitting at my desk, and watching him. If I could, I would give all my blood and time for his sake. He was sitting at the front desk, next to the window, playing with pen, while talking with my Russian classmate Danyila. I was enchanted

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Juicy red by ChudaChan, literature

Literature

Juicy red

Howl at the Moon by ChudaChan, literature

Literature

Howl at the Moon

Snow white by ChudaChan, literature

Literature

Snow white

Stab me by ChudaChan, literature

Literature

Stab me

Reasons for Living by ChudaChan, literature

The girl in a mist by ChudaChan, literature

Literature

The girl in a mist

The Happy Family by ChudaChan, literature

Literature

The Happy Family

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About ChudaChan

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Artist // Hobbyist // Literature

June 30
Latvia
Deviant for 10 years
She / Her

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My Bio

Sveiki!

There's nothing much to tell.

I'm pretty nerdy teenager. who likes to boss others around, but I'm not spoiled.
I like to read (even though I haven't read anything for a while. All the books I'm interested in are too expensive at the moment).

I'm from Riga (Capital of Latvia at the moment. Who knows, what can happen, when you live in a small country, right next to the Russia...)

I like to do weird things, such as learning Livonian language, attacking small, cute birds, writing imaginative diaries and pushing my self. I also like fencing and, I adore all the bruises I get while fencing. I LOVE THIS SPORT!!!

If you feel bored and have no one to talk, feel free to write to me.
I don't have anything better to do anyways...

Favourite Movies

Hmmm... I guess "Sapņu komanda 1935" (Dream Team 1935) Great movie with great and well known (In Latvia) actors. Love this movie. And actually it's truth. The first champion of Europe in Basketball was Latvia ^^

Favourite TV Shows

I guess, I should say "Ugunsgrēks" :D Just kidding. I love "Sherlock" and "Pushing Daisies"

Favourite Bands / Musical Artists

My chemical romance, Breaking Benjamin, 30 seconds to Mars, Three days grace, Prāta Vētra. From artists, I like Mārtiņš Freimanis.

Favourite Books

All the books, I 've read :) I really enjoy reading :D But the best ones were "Time to love and time to die" and "Gone with the wind" and "The Great Gatsby"

Favourite Writers

Erich Maria Remarque, Margaret Mitchell, Francis Scott Fitzgerald

Other Interests

Individual sports, history, literature, kawaii things, milk chocolate, sweets

Posts

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ChudaChan

Oct 22, 2014

Doubts

0 min read

Sometimes I become doubtful about everything I know because it could turn out to be anything else. It scares and gives a thrill It makes a heart to skip a beat just like that for no real reason It's just my imagination Because with my mind I know things won't change and I like it the way they are And yet there's that monster hiding under my bed and bugging me What would happen if... And the strangest is that I become curious too Even though the answer is known and boring. Doubts... They are ones of the most illogical from all feelings known to a man. Funny isn't it? That makes me the most illogical person.

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ChudaChan

Oct 21, 2014

Dreaming empty

0 min read

Usually my dreams are plain and empty. They are colourful and fun, full of adventures and there I have friends. They all have pretty plain and simple plot. And usually I forget them, in the first 5 minutes after waking up. But sometimes, very rarely I see dreams, which are too realistic. Like HD quality, and everything is so real... Like last night. I'm pretty sick at the moment, so I woke up for too many times and had too many dreams that night, but this one was unique. It felt so real. Actually I really wanted it to be real. I'm not sure even why. There's no reason for me to wish for that... But now I know one thing for sure. Usel

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ChudaChan

Aug 27, 2014

Feelin' uneasy

0 min read

Tēriņtš Goddammit I feel pretty bad at the moment. I know that it has been a while since my last post, and much has happenned. It was like that for me too. I made some new friends, got heartbroken again, and, surprisingly,  yesterday became a co-founder of a group in DA. I can't understand one thing. One important thing, and it gives me a writer's block. This post doesn't make any sense, just like my mind in past few days. For a second I'm happy like a fool, but in next moment I can't stop thinking, how foolish I was. I don't know why it is like that. Plus, I feel like punched in a stomach. That's what you get from being